Adjusting

When I talk to most people about the new baby, they have 3 questions for me. Here they are and how I respond.

1. How is Allie sleeping? Actually quite well. She usually wakes up only time a night so I can't complain. She has two small problems. One, she is a loud sleeper. It is not a problem for Allie or for Erich but it is for me. I wake up when she starts to grunt and think she is ready to eat. Yet she remains asleep for another 30-45 minutes. I don't though. Last night, I went and slept on the couch so I could sleep peacefully. Second, sometimes she wants to be held to sleep well. Luckily it usually happens when she is first going to bed or early in the morning so I can still catch a little shut eye while sleeping. Anyone have any suggestions on how to solve that problem?

2. How is Laney handling the new baby? Actually quite well. She does not appear to be jealous or mad at the baby. And she doesn't seem to want to hurt the baby. That being said, we cannot leave Laney near Allie alone. Laney by nature is a little rough and while she tries to be soft, at 17 months old she doesn't completely get it. And she doesn't understand that the she is not big enough to hold the baby and such. We have to be careful that she doesn't try to pull Allie off the couch or sit on top of her when she is trying to sit next to her. She still likes to give her kisses and quickly looks to help Allie if she hears her crying. And Laney is definitely trying to turn back her age. She LOVES the bouncy seat and acts as if it is her own recliner. She also has a sudden interest in bottles and pacifiers whether they be Allie's or her baby dolls.

3. How am I doing? Physically, I am good. I have felt like this recovery has been much easier than that of my first pregnancy. I feel good. I sleep good. I shouldn't be able to complain. But I won't lie, I suffer from some post-partum issues. I am not sure I would call it depression, more of anxiety. I am scared to have my mom leave because I am not really sure I can handle it on my own. So every time I think about her leaving, I cry. I worry about my kids growing up far away from both sets of grandparents, so I cry. I think about my kids growing up and whether or not I can really be a good mom, and I cry. So my mother, who was supposed to fly home tomorrow, has helped pack me up and is taking the girls and me home for the week. I know that in a week, I will have to deal with some of these same issues but hopefully by then, I will have some of these pregnancy hormones a little more under control. And I will have a little more experience with having 2 kids. Maybe then, I will cry a little less about saying good-bye to my mom.

So that is how our adjustment is going. We all love Allie. We are so glad she is a part of our family. And we are sure that given a little time, it will all seem perfectly normal to us!